i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
