it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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