Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize