I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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