I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Also, beer. Big fan.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
