I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You ruined the universe
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
