hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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