is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
