Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
