Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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