sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
