U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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