i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We are all done wearing pants today
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize