Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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