i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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