So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
