Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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