Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
