He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba