I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
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Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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