the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My pussy is not your playground.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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