you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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