I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
wow bdsm is so cute
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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