I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Everyone says I win the strip club
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
