we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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