so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize