So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
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i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
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I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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