proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
