that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
