their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
