he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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