Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
