Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
