Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
