Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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