South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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