i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
