Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself

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  (248): At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself http://tfl.nu/n1ex
  Replies (1) Good night (1339) Bad night (671)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies

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  (860): yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her (860): but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!" (860): but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies http://tfl.nu/084i
  Replies (42) Good night (2656) Bad night (1005)
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  (650): View more from California

  im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt

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  (650): im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt http://tfl.nu/myrk
  Replies (35) Good night (605) Bad night (4429)
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  (650): View more from California

  Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair

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  (650): Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair http://tfl.nu/e96b
  Replies (10) Good night (967) Bad night (1994)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!

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  (973): if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out! http://tfl.nu/a5qm
  Replies (23) Good night (658) Bad night (4597)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.

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  (440): it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time. http://tfl.nu/xax0
  Replies (21) Good night (1115) Bad night (7561)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"

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  (732): So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?" http://tfl.nu/5x5l
  Replies (78) Good night (1018) Bad night (17051)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.

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  (815): Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit. http://tfl.nu/yacj
  Replies (22) Good night (1615) Bad night (5747)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.

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  (410): Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP. http://tfl.nu/xvnv
  Replies (4) Good night (4208) Bad night (1195)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Can I have him when you're done?

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  (903): He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding (541): Can I have him when you're done? http://tfl.nu/4y2y
  Replies (14) Good night (3839) Bad night (819)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time

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  (302): Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time http://tfl.nu/xi83
  Replies (0) Good night (1016) Bad night (344)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.

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  (306): I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer. http://tfl.nu/mo8a
  Replies (3) Good night (564) Bad night (295)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?

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  (781): What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest? http://tfl.nu/6m0u
  Replies (4) Good night (315) Bad night (431)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic

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  (540): that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic http://tfl.nu/gwhk
  Replies (2) Good night (634) Bad night (293)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning

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  (484): He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning http://tfl.nu/2xih
  Replies (2) Good night (538) Bad night (170)

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