So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?