Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
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