Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk