Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.