Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.

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(805): Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer. http://tfl.nu/1b8s

Replies (11) Good night (1062) Bad night (615)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs

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(908): im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs http://tfl.nu/kfrc

Replies (19) Good night (1214) Bad night (2398)
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(561): View more from Florida

So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.

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(561): So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon. http://tfl.nu/ni4o

Replies (10) Good night (3410) Bad night (654)
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(630): View more from Illinois

his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass

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(630): his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass http://tfl.nu/ujep

Replies (36) Good night (8856) Bad night (1241)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.

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(859): thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that. http://tfl.nu/160n

Replies (11) Good night (6302) Bad night (1079)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS

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(609): And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS http://tfl.nu/9yrh

Replies (17) Good night (1284) Bad night (4699)
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(708): View more from Illinois

The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.

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(708): The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind. http://tfl.nu/lim4

Replies (5) Good night (950) Bad night (1695)
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(512): View more from Texas

Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.

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(512): Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today. http://tfl.nu/tybk

Replies (10) Good night (1595) Bad night (2072)
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(707): View more from California

I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots

(1-707): View more from California

You did like 8

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(707): I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots (1-707): You did like 8 http://tfl.nu/2yf9

Replies (6) Good night (2883) Bad night (717)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots

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(605): When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots http://tfl.nu/ud2p

Replies (7) Good night (1426) Bad night (718)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?

(718): View more from New York

See you tonight.

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(201): Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning? (718): See you tonight. http://tfl.nu/wje2

Replies (4) Good night (1704) Bad night (677)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"

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(402): The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?" http://tfl.nu/ovas

Replies (11) Good night (799) Bad night (1508)
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(602): View more from Arizona

Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend

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(602): Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend http://tfl.nu/pyzq

Replies (4) Good night (379) Bad night (749)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.

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(717): There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing. http://tfl.nu/cfbw

Replies (5) Good night (905) Bad night (471)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.

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(540): I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism. http://tfl.nu/6sut

Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (337)

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