I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
