so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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