One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
