this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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