wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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