Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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