So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
