You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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