break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
