the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
