You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
