As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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