someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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