we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
