I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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