Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
