You're completely useless in the revolution.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
