it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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