i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
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All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We have started to decorate penises.
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He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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