she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize