By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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