He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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