Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
