Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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