it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
